I am going out and voting for a member of the Tea Party. Let me tell you why you should, too:
- You get to endorse Sarah Palin, a person who wants to be president but quit her job as governor to make millions.
- Oh, you also get to endorse Christine O’Donnell, a person that contends she is a Constitutional scholar but does not know the 14th Amendment.
- Fascism is a left-wing phenomenon. We can thank Jonah Goldberg — with a big assist from Beck — for the popularity of this one, even though Goldberg’s thesis has been demolished and angrily dismissed by academic historians. It’s especially come in handy for Tea Partiers with Obama-as-Hitler signs, who are not impressed by those pointy-headed professorial types anyway. This one is from the Washington Post (May 19th, 2009). For those of you that are educated, you know that being left-wing and fascist are diametrically opposed of each other. Man, more folks need my courses.
- If you believe that the old days were the good old days, then you should show your support. This is especially true if you are a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant.
- Though the Tea Party is more of a movement rather than an actual organized party, we want you to throw away your vote.
- You can stick it to the Republican base that gives the Tea Party its ideological core.
- Oh, a vote for Tea is a vote for ____________ (you tell me?)